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04. ME AGAINST EVERYONE
After one confinement month at the San Raffaele hospital I was discharged.
How was I? Bad. I felt too much dizziness, I couldn’t coordinate the movement of my left hand, I couldn’t keep the equilibrium for more than 15 seconds on one leg, I couldn’t walk well: I had to walk fast in order not to loose my equilibrium and fall down, but at the same time I couldn’t run. I could see at the right side, but I saw double sideways. I was definitely pale.
A week after my discharge from the hospital, my girlfriend who since 5 years prayed me not to leave her, because she loved me so much, leaved me alone. Hard, so hard! At work too! When we had lunch break I had to go down the stairs of my floor: I had to lean on the railing and it was not easy. The concentration was really low, but I didn’t drop by the wayside and I was able to do whatever my bosses asked me.
The difficulties and the weariness were gigantic!
When I was still in Milan I’ve already kept in touch with the doctor I met though internet. He works in Bologna and when I came back at city I got the first visit with him. He explained me how the unique exam to evaluate the real intoxication degree of heavy metal works. With passing time I studied it, even for personal experience. It’s a differential urine exam before and after you’ve got a infusion which contains the chelating agents called EDTA. What does it mean? Simple:
- EDTA: it’s a molecule which is useful to imprison (“to chelat”) the heavy metals, disabling and expelling through the urine.
- Differential urine exam: before getting the infusion you collect an urine sample; then you get the chelating infusion and at the end you collect the second urine sample, both of them will be send to the analysis laboratory in order to measure the dosage.
The result shows some values before and after getting the chelating agent and therefore you understand for difference the intoxication level. Clearly the values in the post infusion urine are bigger, because the chelating agent has found out and imprisoned the hidden metals in the organs and in the cellular tissues. Instead a lot of you got the mineralogram exam, which determine the presence of heavy metal in your hair. I believe that this exam has not meaningful, because if you have the same genetic or enzyme Glutathione lack, like I have, your body can’t expel the metal from your body, even through the hair. Some friends of mine, with MS diagnosis, got this mineralogram exam (50E) and immediately later the urine differential exam, I described you previously and they got really different results! All my exams are explained in the chapter and you can download them always here.
My advice is to distrust of doctors who advice the mineralogram exam (and they are the major part) and even to distrust of doctors who tell you your intoxification degree just with an only urine sample without getting the chelating infusion. In fact every person I know, who has got this exam, has obtained different results after the infusion, it’s an indicator of a nonlinearity and so not predictable.
4.1 EDTA (ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid)
I’m telling you more: the EDTA is a molecule with a heavy metal affinity degree and it’s selective. What does it mean? It means that once you’ve got the infusion and therefore you’ve got the EDTA inner circle, it attaches before with some metals and then, when they are decreased, this EDTA attaches other metals with minor affinity.
This is the order in which the main heavy metals are attached: Aluminium, Cadmi, Lead, Mercury. This means that when you get this exam it will indicate a really high aluminiun rate, but the cadmi, Lead and mercury rate are lower. That doesn’t mean you have no these metals, it just means that at the first infusion the EDTA has attached initially with the most affinity metal carrying it in the urine.
Do you want an example? My case: at the first infusion the aluminium was 4 times the “maximum threshold” and the other heavy metals lower. But at the 10th infusion the level of Aluminium was decreased a lot, but the Lead became 3 times the previously value. At the 19th infusion the Lead was decreased and even if the aluminium became higher (later I’ll explain you why), the mercury level was higher.
After this little introduction of how the detoxification works, we go back to my story…
Exactly the day after or two days after getting such infusion a little miracle happened.
Here I report briefly the results of the first three EDTA infusions I got, you can find the complete result in the next chapters… Keep the order. Wonderful. Incredible. An indescribable emotion.
- September 14, 2006 (with urine exam): dizziness has stopped, before I had it even when I was sat.
- October 5, 2006: I can move the left hand better, above all on the keyboard. I’ve began to step up the stairs without leaning on anymore. I regained the 60% of my equilibrium.
- October 19, 2006: left hand is almost perfect. Now I can write without seeing the keyboard.
Let’s talk again about my story… In two months from September to October I got 3 infusions and I was definitely re-born. Even if I had a lot of serious problems yet, I knew to be on the right way. But the 31st of October were coming, day in which I had to get the second immunosuppression infusion. I didn’t want to get it at all.
Could you understand me? The local military police: Carabinieri!.
I was obliged to get it and even if a part of me died that day, another one, even more determinate and fighting was born.
I started living alone.
In February 2007 I got another magnetic resonance. It’s not easy to understand if the result is positive or negative: you can read “It seems to be recognizable” and also “No collateral problems”. This was just an extract, the complete version is in the Annex. I hope you can understand my translation, if not you can also download it, always in the same page.
02/14/07
Comparing with previously control a lesion hotbed seems to be present.
It seems to be recognizable corresponding the right medium space cerebral. Active lesions are not present. No collateral problem.
- When I came back at Bologna, my difficulties were gigantic. I started working again.
- I met a really special doctor and I started discovering what “heavy metal intoxication” means.
- I found out what EDTA is and I got the differential urine exam in order to find out my intoxication degree.
- I got 3 infusions and my health conditions were getting better a lot.
- I told to my parents that I didn’t want to get immunosoppresion infusion anymore, but still scared about the words of the “head” physician and that is I wasn’t compos mentis, I was obliged to go to the Carabinieri (local military police) because my parents wanted to denounce me for mental infirmity.
- I was obliged to go to the Carabinieri (local military police) because my parents wanted to denounce me for mental infirmity.
Nobody heard me and after 2 months from the second immunosuppression infusion, the time for the third infusion was coming. I was determined not to get it and I communicated it to the San Raffaele doctors. I did it by email. I censor their names because I have nothing against them, I well know that they work with good faith, only to let you know what I’ve handled and lived.
In order not to weigh down your lecture I report just an extract with the most important sentences. You can find every complete email in the Annex. The original emails were written in Italian, I hope to have translated them in correct way, but if you would like to correct something, I’ll be glad to modified it, writing your name under the text! Just send me an email!
In this email I declare to San Raffaele doctors my intention not to go on with Mitoxantrone therapy.
From me to dott. ¦¦¦¦¦ Jan 5, 2007 1:14 PM
“… it’s my precise intention not to keep going such cure… My body was really strong intoxicated from heavy metals and I know well that they are not at the origin of plaques, but after being detoxificated (and other 3 monthes miss), I resumed to do a lot of things which before were only a dream! For example: I write on the keyboard WITHOUT seeing the buttons, I don’t loose my equilibrium anymore, I feel I’m physically reborn and these changes exactly the day after I’ve got the EDTA infusion, which I have to get once every 2 weeks as protocol …
… I know that in this moment I’m renouncing at an “occasion” or at an “opportunity”, but I prey you to believe me when I tell you that it’s not my UNMOTIVATED choice and I know you would make EVERYTHING in order to let sick people stay well. I feel only this is not my way …
The doctor/researcher expresses his opinion on my choice letting me notice that only two infusions matter little in a long period.
From dott. ¦¦¦¦¦ to me Jan 9, 2007 1:38 PM
“ You’re obviously free to do whatever you want of your body and of your disease …… I have nothing against EDTA and infact I won’t tell anything against your choice to do it, but you don’t carry out one argument, only one argument, to suspend the Mitoxantrone cycle…… Couldn’t simply get both of them? Moreover it will be finished, you can’t get more than tenth cycle. On the contrary, the efficacy of only two cycles is really, too limitated on long period. Therefore you got the dumbed to start, taking the risks (in reality low) and not the benefits…… You renounce at a therapy which is effective proved (it means that in a check study, hundred of patients has shown benefits if compared with not checked patients) and you do it without adducing any reason, have courage to tell it to you. Maybe you like being out of the schemes, maybe you think if you cure yourself in an anomalous way even your disease will be anomalous. The magnetic resonance on the 14th won’t show any surprise, the Mitox will have switched off what was actived, if it was. But the lesion load will be the same and every switched off lesion will work in the shadow generating a new degeneration. Don’t thanks me when you are back in ten years asking for further cures, treated really badlier than today, I won’t be glad at all and I will regret not to found the right words to let you get the little sure things, not miracolouses but with sure effect.You think to be right but you are a foolish, Matteo, I’m sorry but that’s my opinion. A nice foolish but foolish. At least do the physioterapy, do it as much as you can, play less with computer and in the virtual reality, go out to live the real life, and who knows that a gumption woman let you put your feet on the floor. Now I have to tell you the last thing, really serious. Do all the advertising you want about EDTA, but don’t disappoint me to find out that you dispense suggestion to others against the therapy of the scientific medicine. There are too many people who have MS and they have really no instruments, even only cultural, to make fully aware choices. You are free to close your balls in a drawer, if you like it, don’t get the Mitox, to cure or not to cure yourself as you want, but you can’t estrapolate to others your experience, even not compared with who saw thousand cases. Even yours, in a lot of directions, it is an already seen movie. However I’d like if you could surprise me changing idea, privelege which is only in the smart people and with sufficient intellective humility.
An embrice,
¦¦¦¦¦
In this email I try again to explain my reasons and my doubts.
From me to dott ¦¦¦¦¦ Jan 9, 2007 4:04 PM
“…What motivates me not to believe in “you” anymore it’s that only after 3 infusions of EDTA (no side effects, made official by minister of health) I resumed to do ALL the things I made before. I walk without loosing my equilibrium, I see well, I move the left hand again. And for what? Why didn’t you get me these exams at SR? I spent there 1 month?!
I felt all these effects, which are not a miracolous , the day after! I went to work and after 20 minutes I realized that I lived nightmare and I was writing with 2 hands without seeing.
… In your opinion what I described you is not important for the life quality? And now how I can trust in who for 1 mounth didn’t listen to me?
- You renounce at a therapy which is effective proved (it means that in a check study, hundred of patients has shown benefits if compared with not checked patients) and you do it without adducing any reason, have courage to tell it to you.
“This procedure effective proved” gave me some “interruptions” to my heart. What does it mean? It means that suddently after getting the Mitox infusion I felt that for a second my heart stopped beating (and this until two weeks after) all two times. Difficolt sensation to describe. Now this sensation is gone and it doesn’t happen again (2 monthes are gone from the last one). And then I think: and if at the end I get 10 of them?…
… And I prey you not to believe they are ONLY suggestions of an “adolescent kid”, because it’s NOT like that. My work carries me to be more cynic and pragmatic and NOBODY is more clear-headed than me in this moment…
… Do you remember what my conditions were, don’t you? I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t move the hand, I couldn’t see at right.
And then how I can ignore my sensations, the one who motivated me to find out one of few serious doctor, who works not for money and who knows a lot about EDTA (because the 99% of doctors are wrong when they use it), who DOESN’T ABSOLUTELY tell me not to get Mitox, he just asked me to do what I felt. And the other guys (OBVIUOSLY WITHOUT giving up the official medicine) got the same exams which I got.. Risult? We were all intoxicated from Aluminium (who 3 times the maximum limit, who 5 times), some traces of Mercury and a little of Lead, nearly nothing Cadmi (even if the sigarettes inhibit my breath).
And all of them got the same benefic effects that I got. And so am I the only one? …
… I’d like to talk with you about all the rest of things (REALLY IMPORTANT!), but in reality I’m “a little bit tired” not to be heard and so I start answering in evasive way, as in my previous email…”
In this answer the doctor/researcher shows his “doubts”.
From dott. ¦¦¦¦¦ to me Jan 9, 2007 5:16 PM
&“…You won’t succeed to let me tell you something against EDTA (W EDTA if it lets you stay well!), I have my idea, therefore I think your motivations for the suspension are insubstantial and they are the result of an oppositive attitude. In few words, you have prejudice. Maybe it’s due to the head physician who is without sensibility…
¦¦¦¦¦ is a great man and he doesn’t deserve to be get rid of that.
Anyway my decision is not the challenge. I don’t know what you have to prove and to who, but I just know that for my experience you’re going to pay it, as you’ve already paid and I’m disapointed…”
Instead here I show him again my human and scientific reasons.
From me to dott. ¦¦¦¦¦ Jan 10, 2007 10:40 AM
“…Sometimes I worder what the SR doctors are looking for? A way to understand what the disease origin is (and maybe it will be an unsolved problem for all your life), or the less invasive way to help people like me?…
… How can I not to think that if I was not me now I can’t move my hand, can’t dance in the club, can’t stopped dizziness. And the SR doctors plays with our fears, as “the king”, who has exploited my disease to let be trusted by my parents.
I’ve got the first Mitox infusion because I had no alternatives. Do you remember “the king” words, because I DON’T forget them: “Or you get so or this is the door and the doctors won’t ever be interested in him”.
And which kind of impact can be a sentence like that on 2 parents who has no way to understand. I’ll tell you.
After the first Mitox infusion I’ve been off for one week, apart hearth problem.
Physically I was definitetly down! I’ve got 3 blood exams. They are not lethal, but the thought to go to check something which is made on the trust of people who didn’t try ALL the ways before engraving so much in the life is REAL strong. Then you reborn after 3 EDTA infusions, REBORN, and I repeat, after 3!
And then you decide not to get Mitox anymore. Decide not to get the second Mitox infusion and your parents go to the Carabinieri (local military police) to denounce me as “mind insane”.
And then in order not to give this displeasure to the people who gave you all their possible love, you decide to get the second Mitox infusion, even because you have been living under THEIR roof!
And the routin is repeated. KO week, heart and blood exams.
… Go living alone! Then the day you have to get the third Mitox infusion comes.
What had I to do? If not the choice I’ve ever made? And the question is: if instead 10 Cortisone infusions and 2 Mitox infusions I immediately got the EDTA? Maybe I could avoid the 2 Mitox infusion…
I’ve been gone nearly 10 years with Multiple Sclerosis and I’d like to “challenge” you to tell me “which accumulate disabilities” I got. For the moment Mitox is enough! I’m nice foolish, but I’m lucky not to be scared of the disease, which has been living with me since 10 years…
… Obviously I didn’t get rid of ¦¦¦¦¦, reading in his heart I read the same passion I read in yours and I pray you to let him read my emails too.
But even in my heart there is a passion and an EXTRAORDINARY willing of life and of winning…
- I don’t know what you have to prove and to who, but I just know that for my experience you’re going to pay it, as you’ve already paid and I’m disapointed.
I answer you with your affirmation:“Prove me that you get something different from a sensation! Otherwise yours is a comfortable position of who enunciates something which is unprovable and therefore incontrovertible.” In any case I’ll pay it, I choose the one which gets me well now.
I choose to stay well today, hoping staying well even tomorrow…”
Here his doctor collegue, who cured me, shows his doubts telling to me clearly that if I felt better it was only thanks to Mitoxantrone infusions.
From dott. ¦¦¦¦¦ to me Jan 10, 2007 2:32 PM
“Dear Matteo,
I answer you too considering that¦¦¦¦¦ let me know about this corrispondance. I’m embittered because I thought the words of two serious people like ¦¦¦¦¦ and me could let you help to understand, even if not convinced, about yuor health. I’m also worried for your health because you cannot effort to waste time and to get the cure in late which is fondamental, holding your present clinical condition. The alternative cures, which you’re getting, can be absolutely a subjective benefit, but THERE IS NO ANY SCIENTIFICAL DIMONSTRATION WHICH RETARDS THE DISEASE PROGRESSION OR WHICH SWITCHED OFF THE INFLAME ACTIVITIES(*). The magnetic resonance of the brain, which you’ll get, if not showing activity lesion, it will be only thanks to 2 Mitoxantrone cycles which some wise people suggested to you…
… I would like to allow myself to tell you that me and even ¦¦¦¦¦, , who I know really well, are, from a human point of view, every day confronting with a lot of questions and we effort critical difficulties to suggest painful therapy to patients like you. If we did it, it’s because it’s absolutely necessary.
I end wishing you a good luck. Doctor-patient has to trust each other and in our case it’s not like that anymore.
¦¦¦¦¦“
(*) Personal note: see “Elevated urinary excretion of aluminium and iron in multiple sclerosis”, Keele University, 17 February 2006.
Now my answer become even more resolved, but at the same time it’s still opened. In Annex you will find the attachment I mention in this email.
From Me to dott Jan 12, 2007 8:43 AM
Dear ¦¦¦¦¦, thanks being so explicit in the email and I’m sorry for the “late” of my answer, I refected a lot…… The truth is that we think different, both of the disease origin, on the course and on the cure. Therefore I need time to reflect and you were REALLY right to be so explicit with me.
I know well that you and ¦¦¦¦¦ love me and YOU CAN’T IMAGINE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU! But at the moment I “need” time. That’s all.
And in any way I can’t not to ascertain “your” absolutely “close mind” (clearly I don’t refer to you directly!). As much as it appears, you don’t close every open door to EDTA, but only not to interrupt your cure.
I perfectly remember the words of the doctor ¦¦¦¦¦, which is considered from you a person who cure with science and conscience: “Don’t worry, you’ll be tread for what you have”.
And I can’t not to ascertain that it was NOT like that or at least in complete way. And luckily I thought by myself.
And then if I think again to your director words, my nearly certs about “your” closing mind become nearly reality, I don’t speak about you directly! Considering that you don’t believe to what international important Doctors said I would like to suggest you to chat or to visit the Prof ¦¦¦¦¦ website, who is CNR researcher from Padova about neurologic damages from Aluminium.And you didn’t reply to me about “my right” question why you DIDN’T GET ME an exam to know my metal dosage during a month I spent in hospytal. The toxic metals definition doesn’t leave any interpretation of their potential dangerousity!!
I got other opinions from other people in international field and for this reason I’m confused. Aside from the love which we feel each other luckily I followed their suggestions, but above all my istinct.
Even if I agree with ¦¦¦¦¦ that the therapy can be simply complementary. I don’t know what to think, which pain is the lowest. I recognize that between 2 Mitox infusions (which I’ve willy-nilly already got) or getting 3 it WON’T change so much, or at least I think. But then certainly going on it will change! Therefore I’m hypothesizing to get the third and LAST Mitox infusion, ONLY FOR THE LOVE YOU WANT ME!
I cannot before Thursday to be free.
… Could you let me know if it is possible on Thursday, I’m not 100% sure to do it, maybe from today until Thursday I’ll change my idea. I don’t know. I’m confused. And confusion generates fear. And it’s a FEAR I REALLY CAN’T describe…
… REALLY THANKS!
Matteo
PS: this is just a paper I read on the web. How cannot I give it the right importance, after what I’ve lived?
This is the last email of the doctor. At the end I decided not to go on with Mitoxantrone therapy.
From dott. ¦¦¦¦¦ to me Jan 12, 2007 2:21 PM
Dear Matteo,
I talked to the nurse ¦¦¦¦¦, who said to me to contact her dialling the number you already know (¦¦¦¦¦) in order to arrange a new appointment for the Mitoxantrone therapy.
¦¦¦¦¦
No comment, just imagine what I’ve lived…
But from now the most wonderful story begins, more amazing, and more … I can’t find the right words to describe it! The biggest emotion!
At the beginning I was so “cold” with them, but one year after I resumed slowly our relationship. Until now: I go very often to visit them, to eat, laugh and spend time together.
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The day of the third immunosopression infusion was coming and I communicated my decision not to prolong such a cure to the San Raffaele doctors by email.
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In this email correspondence I repeated again my motivations why I didn’t want to prolong the immunosoppresion infusion.
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The San Raffaele doctors thought that the profit I’ve had was a merit only and exclusively to the Mitoxantrone infusion continuing not to hear me.
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I didn’t went to the third infusion.
