21. ANNEX

From dott. ¦¦¦¦¦ to me Jan 9, 2007 1:38 PM

Matteo, I’ve read your email only today. I’m happy you feel good. But sure you’re a good foolish!

You’re obviously free to do whatever you want of your body and of your disease. I have no any prejudice, I have no blind faith in my science, which leaves unsolved too many problems, and I studied everything, and I tell everything, I think it could be potentially relevant in my field, from quantistic physic to acupuncture. I have nothing against EDTA and in fact I won’t tell anything against your choice to do it, but you don’t carry out one argument, only one argument, to suspend the Mitoxantrone cycle. “I feel this is not my road” is an empty affirmation, full only of an empty suggestion, it seems it’s taken from an adolescent diary, and not from an adult who is engaged with a serious problem. Couldn’t simply get both of them? Moreover it will be finished, you can’t get more than tenth cycles. On the contrary, the efficacy of only two cycles is really too limited on long period. Therefore you got the dumbed to start, taking the risks (in realty low) and not the benefits. Frankly speaking it seems it has no meaning. Unfortunately you’ve already jumped nothing so terrible, you could repair it. What I’ve never understood in patients who choose an unconventional medicine (and sometimes even the doctors who administer them) is the antagonist spirit against the evidence based medicine. And in fact they are defined alternative, while maybe the medicines, all the medicines are simply complementary. You renounce at a therapy which is effective proved (it means that in a check study, hundred of patients has shown benefits if compared with not checked patients) and you do it without adducing any reason, have courage to tell it to you. Maybe you like being out of the schemes, maybe you think if you cure yourself in an anomalous way even your disease will be anomalous. The magnetic resonance on the 14th won’t show any surprise, the Mitox will have switched off what was active, if it was. But the lesion load will be the same and every switched off lesion will work in the shadow generating a new degeneration. Don’t thanks me when you are back in ten years asking for further cures, treated really badly than today, I won’t be glad at all and I will regret not to found the right words to let you get the little sure things, not miraculous but with sure effect.

You think to be right but you are a foolish, Matteo, I’m sorry but that’s my opinion. A nice foolish but foolish. At least do the physiotherapy, do it as much as you can, play less with computer and with the virtual reality, go out to live the real life, and who knows that a gumption woman let you put your feet on the floor. Now I have to tell you the last thing, really serious. Do all the advertising you want about EDTA, but don’t disappoint me to find out that you dispense suggestion to others against the therapy of the scientific medicine. There are too many people who have MS and they have really no instruments, even only cultural, to make fully aware choices. You are free to close your balls in a drawer, if you like it, don’t get the Mitox, to cure or not to cure yourself as you want, but you can’t extrapolate to others your experience, even not compared with who saw thousand cases. Even yours, in a lot of directions, is a movie which has already seen. However I’d like if you could surprise me changing idea, privilege which is only in the smart people and with sufficient intellective humility.

An embrace, ¦¦¦¦¦

From me to dott ¦¦¦¦¦ Jan 9, 2007 4:04 PM

Dear ¦¦¦¦¦,

thank you for your ready answer. I admit that about a lot of things you are right.

• Am I dumb? Yes I am.
• Am I a nice foolish? Certainly I am foolish, nice only sometimes.
• Am I an eternal adolescent? Yes I am, and I like it.
• Maybe do you like to be out of scheme?” No, I like the schemes, but I like to solve them.

Granted that I would like to solve you this little problem:

• “What I’ve never understood in patients who choose an unconventional medicine is the antagonist spirit against the evidence based medicine.”?

I confirm that there is a little antagonism, maybe because I DON’T want to give up and instead “playing” in defence we like to play in “attack”.

Also for me the medicines are simply complementary, like for ALL the civilised doctors, I think.

What motivates me not to believe in “you” anymore it’s that only after 3 infusions of EDTA (no side effects, made official by minister of health) I resumed to do ALL the things I made before. I walk without loosing my equilibrium, I see well, I move the left hand again. And for what? Why didn’t you get me this exams at SR? I spent there 1 month?

I felt all these effects, which are not a miraculous , the day after! I went to work and after 20 minutes I realized that I lived a nightmare and I was writing with 2 hands without seeing. Or like when I ate in lunch break, before I had to remain leaded on the rail in line not to fall down and now I am able to run up on the steps and walk really fast going down.

Gee whiz, even if it’s made from “speculator” (not every one, only the “boss”) they are always doctors (I refer to the German doctors) which made me this diagnosis , after TRUE proved.

• You renounce at a therapy which is effective proved (it means that in a check study, hundred of patients has shown benefits if compared with not checked patients) and you do it without adducing any reason, have courage to tell it to you.

“This procedure effective proved” gave me some “interruptions” to my heart. What does it mean? It means that suddenly after getting the Mitox infusion I felt that for a second my heart stopped beating (and this until two weeks after) all two times. Difficult sensation to describe. Now this sensation is gone and it doesn’t happen again (2 months are gone from the last one). And then I think: and if at the end I get 10 of them? Now I resume to jump again. Now I’m able to stay on one foot for 4 minutes and half at my right, two months ago 10 seconds, 2 minutes for my left foot and always the day after getting EDTA infusion.

And then I wonder why I had to suffer so much this summer, when it was sufficient so little. And I prey not to believe they are ONLY suggestions of a “adolescent kid”, because it’s NOT like that.

My work carries me to be more cynic and pragmatic and NOBODY is more clear-headed than me in this moment.

I could describe you the electron trajectory inside a cathode-ray tube with a differential equation system. I was 16 when my institute selected me on 2000 guys in order to participate at chemical games and I was 21 when I got the first 30/30 at the university. I was 24 when I got a MarieCurie fellowship as a abroad researcher.

Then “the king” comes to me to tell to my parents that I’m not able to understand anymore. What? And then? How is it possible? Could anybody understand me? Am I the only one who got this kind of things?

Then it happens that at SR I met a lot of people who got my same disease, obviously we shared our opinions and our experiences and in any case there is something similar. Glutathione lack in some cases, exams made in Pisa, which made me rethink of me and of them!

Obviously we see each other again, even recently it happened. And they looked at me while I laughed, jumped, I enjoyed myself, danced in the club as a crazy boy. Do you remember what my conditions were, don’t you? I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t move the hand, I couldn’t see at right.

And then how I can ignore my sensations, the one who motivated me to find out one of few serious doctor, who works not for money and who knows a lot about EDTA (because the 99% of doctors are wrong when they use it), who DOESN’T ABSOLUTELY tell me not to get Mitox, he just asked me to do what I felt. And the other guys (OBVIUOSLY WITHOUT giving up the official medicine) got the same exams which I got. Result? We were all intoxicated from Aluminium (who 3 times the maximum limit, who 5 times), some traces of Mercury and a little of Lead, nearly nothing Cadmi (even if the cigarettes inhibit my breath).

And all of them got the same benefic effects that I got. And so am I the only one?

I know well the story of guys who were detoxicated from Aluminium and now they are sitting on the wheelchair, but they didn’t follow what I’ve been getting, therefore these examples loose them values. And how do I believe that my beating heart is not to underestimate? And I think this doctor is the book co-author of the book I gave you, he cures the children who suffer from Autism (Mercury intoxication).

And then there is A LOT MORE I’d like to tell you, but I DON’T want to abuse your time and your passion who made of you a big!

Maybe it doesn’t get you any effect, but of all doctors I met, you are the unic one who has a place in my heart. I’d like to talk with you about all the rest of things (REALLY IMPORTANT!), but in reality I’m “a little bit tired” to not to be heard and so I start answering in evasive way, as in my previous email.

You know that I love you and I thank you for EVERYTHING.

THANKS SO MUCH!

PS: I think today I’m gonna have the overwork… 🙂

a dear embrace,

Matteo.

From dott. ¦¦¦¦¦ to me Jan 9, 2007 5:16 PM

Matteo,

I’m gonna be laconic otherwise we start an long romance:

• if I thought you are not lucid I would not waste my time to write you
• the same if I thought you were a kid, I’m not your father.
• you are able to solve the differential equation, anyway you go on to escape from any principle you use in your work: if a driver arrived to you telling you that when he fills the tank with the ¦¦¦¦¦ oil, the engine gives him a “strange sensation” and therefore he doesn’t want to use it anymore, you would answer him that every his colleague and nobody laments. If he insisted on it, you would ask him to let examine the engine in order to prove it works fine, if after the inspection well done, he insisted again, you would call the psychologist informing the FFSS (the main company) of his driver who got an malaise problem. That’s you case, during the Mitox therapy you were under hearth controls and what you have been getting were perfected. Prove me that you get something different from a sensation! Otherwise yours is a comfortable position of who enunciates something which is unprovable and therefore incontrovertible.

You won’t succeed to let me tell you something against EDTA (W EDTA if it lets you stay well!), I have my idea, therefore I think your motivations for the suspension are insubstantial and they are the result of an opposite attitude. In few words, you have prejudice. Maybe it’s due to the head physician who is without sensibility. ¦¦¦¦¦ is a great man and he doesn’t deserve to be get rid of that.

Anyway my decision is not the challenge. I don’t know what you have to prove and to who, but I just know that for my experience you’re going to pay it, as you’ve already paid and I’m disappointed.

I haven’t ever seen your not nice character, it will happen. But who knows if the dumb are gonna away? Bye

From me to dott. ¦¦¦¦¦ Jan 10, 2007 10:40 AM

Dear ¦¦¦¦¦,

the same with the long romance.

• Prove me that you get something different from a sensation! Otherwise yours is a comfortable position of who enunciates something which is unprovable and therefore incontrovertible.

I’ll get the exam, and if it’s ok (and it will because now I don’t feel the problems anymore) I can’t renounce to follow my sensation and my intuition (I also know that it’s unprovable).

Sometimes I wonder what the SR doctors are looking for? A way to understand what the disease origin is (and maybe it will be unsolved problem for all your life), or the less invade way to help people like me?

Then I read this file, who was sent to me from another researcher who got the MS and how can I don’t think about it? How I can not to think that if I was not me now I can’t move my hand, can’t dance in the club, can’t to stop the dizziness. And the SR doctors plays with our fears, as “the king”, who has exploited my disease to let be trusted by my parents. I’ve got the first Mitox infusion because I had no alternatives. Do you remember “the king” word, because I DON’T forget them:“Or you get so or this is the door and the doctors won’t ever be interested in him”. And which kind of impact can be a sentence like that on 2 parents who has no way to understand. I’ll tell you.

After the first Mitox infusion I’ve been off for one week, apart hearth problem.

Physically I was definitely down! I’ve got 3 blood exams. They are not lethal, but the thought to go to check something which is made on the trust of people who didn’t try ALL the possible ways before engraving so much my life is REAL strong.

Then you reborn after 3 EDTA infusions, REBORN,and I repeat, after 3!

And then you decide not to get Mitox anymore. Decide not to get the second Mitox infusion and your parents go to the Carabinieri (local military police) to denounce me as “mind insane”.

And then in order not to give this displeasure to the people who gave you all their possible love, you decide to get the second Mitox infusion, even because you have been living under THEIR roof!

And the routine is repeated. KO week, heart and blood exams.

Since I was reborn I rented an apartment, I painted it (obviously with a 100% natural paint, I can even breath inside, being tricked once is ok, twice no!) and I furnished building the ¦¦¦¦¦ furniture alone. You should see it! And everything with the money I earned working. AND ALL ALONE!

Go living alone!

Then the day you have to get the third Mitox infusion comes.

What had I to do? If not the choice I’ve ever made? And the question is: if instead 10 Cortisone infusion and 2 Mitox infusion I immediately got the EDTA? Maybe I could avoid the 2 Mitox infusions. And so I talk to the people who said that what is important is the serenity of people and the quality of life. I’ve been gone trough nearly 10 years with Multiple Sclerosis and I’d like to “challenge” you to tell me “which accumulate disabilities” I got. For the moment Mitox is enough! I’m nice dumb, but I’m lucky not to be scared of the disease, which has been living with me since 10 years. Clearly if I were you or in ¦¦¦¦¦ I’d try to let me think of my “future” in any manner. But I have to think before at my “present”. And my “present” tells me all these things. Obviously I didn’t get rid of ¦¦¦¦¦, reading in his heart I read the same passion I read in yours and I pray you to let him read my emails too. But even in my heart there is a passion and an EXTRAORDINARY willing of life and of winning.

Mine is not a prior decision about Mitox, it’s at the moment. For the moment my life goes on REALLY positive. Obviously the physiotherapy is my second home, and apart running for the rest I’ve resumed ALL.

• I don’t know what you have to prove and to who, but I just know that for my experience you’re going to pay it, as you’ve already paid and I’m disappointed.

I answer you with your affirmation: “Prove me that you get something different from a sensation! Otherwise yours is a comfortable position of who enunciates something which is unprovable and therefore incontrovertible.” In any case I’ll pay it, I choose the one which gets me well now.

I choose to stay well today, hoping staying well even tomorrow.

A dear embrace, Matteo.

From dott. ¦¦¦¦¦ to me Jan 10, 2007 2:32 PM

Dear Matteo,

I answer you too considering that ¦¦¦¦¦ let me know about this correspondence. I’m embittered, because I thought the words of two serious people like ¦¦¦¦¦ and me could let you help to understand, even if not convinced, about your health.

I’m also worried for your health because you cannot effort to waste time and get the cure in late which is fundamental, holding your present clinical condition.

The alternative cures, which you’re getting, can be absolutely a subjective benefit, but THERE IS NO ANY SCIENTIFICAL DIMONSTRATION WHICH RETARDS THE DISEASE PROGRESSION OR WHICH SWITCHED OFF THE INFLAME ACTIVITIES(*). The magnetic resonance of the brain, which you’ll get, if not showing activity lesion, it will be only thanks to 2 Mitoxantrone cycles which some wise people suggested to you.
Allow me an example. If I have to build an house, I know what I need. I have to trust of an engineer and workers who help me in my project. I can’t build it alone. I can choose between some available engineers and my choice is based on their seriousness, on what other people say about them, and on the sensation they give you. I believe you are trying to build an house, but you are trusting of wrong people and not in who try to give you more guarantees.

I would like to allow myself to tell you that me and even ¦¦¦¦¦, who I know really well, are, from a human point of view, every day confronting with a lot of questions and we effort critical difficulties to suggest painful therapy to patients like you. If we did it, it’s because it’s absolutely necessary.

I end wishing you a good luck. Doctor-patient has to trust each other and in our case it’s not like that anymore. ¦¦¦¦¦

From dott. ¦¦¦¦¦ to me Jan 12, 2007 2:21 PM

Dear Matteo,

I talked to the nurse ¦¦¦¦¦, who said to me to contact her dialling the number you already know (¦¦¦¦¦) in order to arrange a new appointment for the Mitoxantrone therapy.

¦¦¦¦¦